SAD vs Winter Blues

The following post contains references to the dreaded D word that is Depression and may not be all light, happy and airy.  Be warned :p

So.  I've been doing a lot of thinking and researching as, once again, That Time Of Year has hit and I want/need to get to grips with it all so much sooner rather than later. 

Some years ago I had a major depressive episode and came very close to being hospitalised.  Apparently though, I wasn't considered ill enough to be admitted at the time and for that I am now hugely thankful, although at the time I didn't see things in quite the same light.

I was on anti-depressants for some years but with the help of many varied types of counselling (some helpful, some not so) and a hugely supportive Mr DF, I have been off the happy tabs for around 6 years. 

It hasn't been plain sailing in those 6 years though.  Every time I have an off day/week/month it's there in my head that this is the start of a slippery slope again and I am going to end up a weeping, wailing mess.   Somehow though, I've muddled through without the aid of medication - mainly due, I think, to losing the weight through healthy eating and exercising.  I've put nutritious food into my body and I exercise to get the lovely endorphins flowing and to get as much natural daylight on my face as possible.

So why can't I eat healthy and exercise well ALL the time?   On a visit to the GP a while back (I'm talking 4 or 5 years maybe) he told me I had all the classic symptoms of SAD, or Seasonal Affective Disorder.  And I accepted that without a murmur.   The winter months have always been difficult for me as when I was very ill with depression then, as anybody who has suffered with it will know, Christmas is traditionally a time guaranteed to make you feel even worse as everybody around you seems so much happier and jolly.  And, of course, Christmas falls slap bang in the middle of winter and so the association was made.  When the GP said I was SAD it all seemed to make sense. 

However, as I mentioned at the top, I've done some research and this is what I found (it's lengthy!)


"The symptoms of SAD usually recur regularly each winter, starting between September and November and continuing until March or April.

A diagnosis can be made after three or more consecutive winters of symptoms, which may include a number of the following:

Depression

• Low mood, worse than and different from normal sadness
• Negative thoughts and feelings
• Guilt and loss of self-esteem
• Sometimes hopelessness and despair
• Sometimes apathy and inability to feel

Sleep Problems

• The need to sleep more
• A tendency to oversleep
• Difficulty staying awake during the day and/or disturbed sleep with
  very early morning wakening

Lethargy

• Fatigue, often incapacitating, making it very difficult or impossible to carry out normal routines

Over Eating

• Craving for carbohydrates and sweet foods leading to an increase in weight

Cognitive Function

• Difficulty with concentration and memory
• The brain does not work as well, or as quickly

Social Problems

• Irritability
• Finding it harder to be with people

Anxiety

• Tension
• Stress is harder to deal with

Loss of Libido

• Less interest in sex and physical contact

Sudden Mood Changes in Spring

• Sharp change in mood
• Some experience agitation and restlessness and/or a short period of
  hypomania (over activity)
• No dramatic mood change but a gradual loss of winter symptoms

Most sufferers show signs of a weakened immune system during the winter, and are more vulnerable to infections and other illnesses.


SAD symptoms disappear in spring, either suddenly with a short period (e.g. four weeks) of hypomania or hyperactivity, or gradually, depending on the intensity of sunlight in the spring and early summer.


In sub-syndromal SAD, symptoms such as tiredness, lethargy, sleep and eating problems occur, but depression and anxiety are absent or mild.

SAD may begin at any age but the main age of onset is between 18 and 30 years.

SAD occurs throughout the northern and southern hemispheres but is extremely rare in those living within 30 degrees of the Equator, where daylight hours are long, constant and extremely bright." source

As I read this article I was humming and harring and when I read the words sub-syndromal SAD a lightbulb went DING! I then did a bit more googling to confirm what I thought, but sub-syndromal SAD is also known as the Winter Blues.

Having suffered a major depressive episode I know what it feels like to have negative thoughts and feelings and to be full of despair - feelings that I don't have to any great extent right now.  I do have most of the other symptoms, the lethargy, lack of concentration, desire need to eat stodge, but I am not overwhelmed with feelings of despair.  More like I am pissed off that I'm completely out of control with my eating and frustrated that I have no energy.  

So, where do I go from here? 

On a recent post a couple of people suggested that I try a Lumie lamp (a lamp that starts soft and gradually grows brighter over the course of around 20 minutes prior to the alarm going off).  I have actually used one of these before and it was fab, however as I now have to get up at 5.50am when I'm on a day shift at work it would mean the light starting to come on around 5.30am - a full hour before Mr DF needs to be up for work and so it would disturb his sleep.  (I don't want to ease my problem only to cause him one!)

Of course, I guess we could have separate bedrooms...... :p

The next logical step, therefore, is for me to look at my diet and to find out what I can do to help myself by eating the best foods to help fight these feelings.  I will share my findings on my next post as I think you've done really well if you've got this far!

I'm also going to start documenting my thoughts and feelings on my blog as I find it hugely beneficial to get it out there in the open.  I'm a member of Weight Loss Resources and a while back I was posting a Daily Diary - Warts'n'All (sound familiar?).  It really helped.   Some of you may not feel this is relevant to Maintaining a weight loss, however it is hugely relevant for me as I can gain a stone or more during this time of blueness (for want of a better word!) and this year I simply can't do it again!  I'm sick of the yo-yo'ing (although I do appreciate that the string is very much shorter than it was years ago).

I'm also going to go back over my posts of January and February of this year as I was posting a lot about what I was eating then - maybe I can draw some inspiration from how I was hauling myself back up then!  Ahhhh yes....... green monsters! 

Til next time x